Saturday, July 25, 2009

I'm still alive

yes i know i haven't updated in oh i dont know FOREVER! but things have been ugh to say the absolute least. i plan on maybe getting a different blog, deleting this one, or making just a seperate one all together for my TTC experience im going thru. ive been reading alot of them lately and it seems like good self therapy to have one. so maybe just maybe tomorrow i will do so. if i can remember to take my laptop with me when i go do laundry... anyways, i will update SOON. not that anyone cares but it will happen. =) until then...

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Catching Up

I've got alot of it to do lately. Work's been blah this week. I don't have Amanda up front with me so not only is it busier then usual for me, it's alot more boring. I hope she feels better soon though!
I decided the weekend before last that I was going on strike from cleaning. I mean I would pick up and make sure it didn't get gross with dirty dishes and stuff (I'm a stickler for the kitchen and bathroom being clean) but over all I wasn't going to do as much as I usually do so that maybe, just maybe, Clark would see for himself what exactly I do. Long story short, it didn't work. Not only did I have a dirty house but I also was in an argument w/him for 2 days. So yesterday and the day before that, I had to catch up on all the cleaning I stopped doing. Which meant about an hour and a half stuck in the bedroom putting clothes away, picking up all my books scattered everywhere and rounding up all the dirty towels. Then I had to clean Lucas' cage. That rabbit poops more then anything I've ever seen! And he seems to like one particular corner which makes it impossible to get really clean (well as much as I would like it at least). I don't really think he cares though.
The baby blanket is coming along nicely. I found that I had dropped a stitch or two maybe 2 or 3 rows down from where I was at so I had to rip that back and start over but I wasn't too upset. The baby I'm making it for isn't due until September so I'm not too worried. I wish I had my camera so I could show pictures but alas, I do not. (Stupid I have been thinking of going to a local pawn shop and putting one in lay-a-way though. I don't know if it would even be worth the trouble. Maybe I should just try and do the impossible and save up? I'm not that great with saving money.
I found a hook case that I adore! I already have one but this seems so fun to make and is super cute with the bright colors they made it in! I want to try and find some cute fun yarn to do it with but I don't want to get too ambitious. I've been doing alot of knitting lately and haven't done crochet in a while so I might be rusty and get frustrated if I use an odd yarn. What do you think?
Today is my appointment to talk to Dr. Booth about the injectables. Which I guess it's more of a do you think I should doctor? And if he says yes, then I go see the fertility specialist Dr. Burns who would put me on them. The thought of sticking myself with a needle everyday isn't too appealing but eh you gotta do what ya gotta do right?
Lately I've been putting alot of thought into going on a diet and quitting smoking. The only problem I forsee with that, besides the obvious of being miserable, is that I tend to be like alot of people and eat more and gain weight when I quit smoking. I don't know if I should do both of them at once or try one at a time?! I found this method for quitting smoking that seems pretty interesting though.
Well, I've put off working long enough...back to the ole grinding stone right?!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

I caved

I now have a Twitter account.
Nothing too exciting with my life as of lately.
I don't have my digital camera anymore (CoCo chewed it up) and without pictures, blogs just aren't the same.
A guy just came in and replied "I heard that." to everything I said. I thought only Clark said that.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

One room down...

eleventy billion to go...actually 3 but it seems like alot. I swear, you would think with a small apartment and it being only Clark and I that it wouldn't take nearly that much effort to clean... well you'd be wrong. So am I apparentally. The other day I got down on my hands and knees and scrubbed the kitchen floor. Today I scrubbed pretty much the whole bathroom and come into the kitchen to put away the cleaning stuff under the sink only to find CoCo has left me a huuuuge present smack dab in the middle of my newly scrubbed floor. mmhmm. Yep. I honestly am very close to getting rid of her. She's reverted back to her puppy stage and refuses to go to the bathroom outside. She only goes on her puppy pads now and rarely does that. So my evening after work pretty much consists of going behind her scrubbing, disinfecting and air freshening everywhere she goes.
At least I have Heather's birthday party to save me tonight. I'm happy for that at least. And suprsingly enough, Clark is going! What?! Yes antisocial Clark has decided to venture outside his usual realm of friends. I'm sooo excited to see if him and Heather's new bf get along. *fingers crossed*.
I had previously posted a blog yesterday, well, tried to. But there was some error so I'll probablly be reposting that soon. Hopefully. It was a good one to. Much better than this one which I'll put you out of your misery reading right about now.

Monday, May 25, 2009

My lungs hate me

Pnemonia again... second time this year. Not only that but ear infections in both ears and bruised ribs from coughing so much. Seriously? Throw some more crap on my life! Bring it!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Warning: Whiney Blog Ahead

As the title warns, this is going to be a horrible blog. So if you don't want to hear me complain then just look away now. There's going to be alot of complaining in this blog because it seems that everything that could possibly go wrong within the past week or so, has gone wrong.
Let's just start with the fact that my bank is a complete and total joke in every sense of the word!! Long story short (very long story short), I was told one thing about when I deposited my check into the bank about how much money would be available to me and when. Then, once I deposited my check on Thursday, they switched around and told me another which in turn made it look like I had overdrafted by $9. Okay big whoop. I was mad b/c they backtracked and said no no no this is our policy but ok they're a bank they do those things. So let's just say I did overdraw by a measley nine frickin bucks! Does that justify you charging me $148 in overdraft fees? I think not! Oh and it gets better from there. As of right now they have charged me around $500 in overdraft fees when I deposited a check of a little over $300 and spent about $260 some. Yea... take that in for a moment... FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS IN OVER DRAFT FEES!!! FOR NINE DOLLARS!! mmhmm do you see my frustration now? So I contact the bank and was quickly told so sorry can't help you the branch manager that takes off overdraft fees or can freeze it for you is on vacation until Tuesday. This was hrm... Monday maybe that I found this out? Yea.. out of a whoooole bank only one single soul can push that one button that stops the overdraft fees so I can get this straightened out. Needless to say, but I'm going to say it anyway, I'm going down there Tuesday to deal with this. I'll suck it up and pay the first overdraft fee, which according to my pamphlets they gave me when I got the checking account is $37, but they are not in no way getting any more money from me! I'm going to play it safe and not even say the banks real name but I'll just let ya know it rhymes with Shmifth Shmird and consists of two odd numbers. yep. Suck it bank!
So theres that little hiccup in my life. Theeenn, yes there's more, I go and get an ovulation kit as suggested by my doctor and many other TTC couples. Been doing the little test strips every morning since Thursday (well Thursday was in the afternoon) and none have come back saying there is even a little LH surge. According to all of my charts today is the big O day. I am quite honestly fed up with this whole TTC thing. Really should it be this hard to have a baby? Why can a crackwhore pop out 8 of em and not take care of a single one but I can't even have ONE?!?!
Oh and to top this little cake of dispair off with a lovely cherry bomb, my knitting and crocheting has pretty much ceased to exist. I have no energy or passion anymore it seems. And when I do even try to being a new project, somehow someway I screw it up. Like a tote bag I was working on the other day. I get alooooot of it done and then realize the pattern says that there was an estimated use of 3 skeins of the yarn they used. I had one. Needless to say that was ripped out quite promptly and shoved into some container somewhere in my horrendously messy house.
Told you this blog was going to be a bad one.
Even though my life seems to be a big pile of crap right now I'm trying to take it all in stride and just breathe. Which is hard to do b/c I have bronchitis, but ya know what I mean.
I just hope whatever this slump my life is in, I get out of it quick. Like now!!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

So I'm not that great at this blogging thing...

I have a tendency to kind of forget about it. Not that my life is all to exciting anyway...
I finally finished my first handspun!!! It didn't turn out as well as I had hoped but I kinda like it. I'm in the midst of making a felted/fulled (however you wanna put it) coin purse/clutch w/the yarn. I'm super duper excited about how the whole project will turn out.
The roving before

and then after spinning...
The size isn't as consistent as I wanted but oh well... I'm doing much better on my second one that I'm doing now.
Baby updatea: Well there isn't one. As I'm sure you have guessed by now. If I was pregnant then I'm sure I would've told everyone on earth by now. I was so sure that this last time it was going to happen so that made it suck even more when I realized it hadn't. My dr. said today that he wants to do one more round of Clomid and then see where to go from there. I really really do not want to do another cycle of it. If it was going to work I honestly feel that it would've done it's job by now. But on the other hand I also don't want to go to the next step which will be either injections or IUI. I'm sure my insurance doesn't cover even a little bit of either and right now it's impossible to pay for anything more expensive. I'm still in the middle of trying to pay off my hospital bill for the surgery they had to do last year to see what was going on.
I just don't understand how some crack whore on the street can have like 3890 kids but I can't even have one?! I mean really? Agh..frustrated!!!
I'm glad I have spinning to calm me down though...

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Tick tock tick tock

Sooo I turned 23 Sunday! It was the usual birthday of me being all sad b/c it's another year gone by that I haven't had a baby and my birthdays always seem to suck. I made out pretty good tho. I got an 8 ft (7ft maybe?) ALL pink fishing pole and flip bell reel from Clark. I loooove it! Now I can go riverfishing! Mom & Dad made me a nice dinner, breakfast, got me a pretty card, and a nice picture frame. Clark's mom & dad got me an awesome Longaberger recipe card basket, and a pretty picture frame that you can put lots of pictures in. Isaiah (my sweet monkey) got me a green apple scented oil scent dispenser thing (with the reeds, dunno wut they're called), and a shirt. I got lots of cards at work and Clark also bought me a t-shirt from Rav. Which I just got in today so I'm super excited to wear it tonight to SnB. If I go. I have full intentions of going but with the way my mood has been today blah I dunno... I don't wanna be a Debbie Downer ya kno?
I'm just in my own self pity mood. I took a test and got a BFN. I took it a few days too early so I'm still somewhat hopeful but still. I'm reading into IUI and all these different injectables since this will be my last month on Clomid and it's just so unbelievable to think I have to have that kind of assistance to do what billions of women have been doing for how many thousands of years on their own? And of course I'm lucky and get messed up. I feel broken. Can't they just fix me? Preferablly a quick fix?
The only thing I've really ever wanted out of life is to be a mother. And to have that one thing taken away (possibly, I'm a pessimist) sucks...
Told you I was bein Debbie...
I'm gonna test again. Don't know when but just incase. I'm sure you'll hear my rant about that when I get another BFN. I'm just glad I have a few wonderful people to catch me when I fall.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Fingers crossed...

So I had my ultrasound appt. Tuesday. I'm not going to go into details of how it went cuz well I don't know that this is really the place for all the gynecological talk and I certainly don't want to jinx myself, so let's just say it went better then expected. Which at this point is all I can really ask for.
My birthday is in two days which I'm not the least bit excited about that. I'm not old or even getting old by any means but 23 scares me. Plus, it never fails that every year on my birthday something happens to make me cry. Fun eh? At least I know I'll get a good meal or two out of it. And Amanda is being super awesome and we're going to yarn n more to get some fibers or w/e on Wednesday. I just hope she doesn't give me the swine flu she has contracted. =]
I had my first lesson in spinning yesterday! I am officially hooked on it and hope to get good enough to make something worth using. I'm super excited that now I can get some yummy fibers and dye them and make my own preference and spin spin spin till my heart is content... see excited! hehe
Here's the kit I got:
Cute huh? I especially like that there's a picture of the animal your fibers came from. Mine was from a beauty named Abby.
Gr... time to confirm patients for Monday. Why can't anyone ever just remember their own appointment? To much to ask for huh? Thought so... o well.

Monday, April 27, 2009


So I was all amped up about my ultrasound appointment today hoping and praying that I would go and they would say the follicles are great and maybe I would get the miracle I'd been hoping for and I would be told that I was already pregnant. But no, the dr's office calls and had to reschedule me to tomorrow because of some emergency at the hospital that the technician had to attend to. Ok the obgyn I can understand having an emergency, yea ok I get that, but the ultrasound tech? What kind of ultrasound emergencies are there? I guess I'm just upset and being mean but I'm still really frustrated.
To top it off, I'm super sleepy today and my stomach is kiiiilling me where I'm ovulating. Which I'm not gonna complain about b/c its a good thing, but it still sucks.
Anyways, just wanted to rant for a while. I promise I will post something with a bit more substance next time.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


So I'm so proud of myself right now I could burst. Right now I'm just gonna do the long story short thing. I went out to eat w/Clark yesterday! We went to the Java Joint and both of us sat down and ate and drank and talked and had fun. Then we left and went to Wal*Mart and got a few things. This may not seem like a big deal to many but to me it is. I suffer from severe panic attacks and anxiety and eating out is a big big thing for me, especially with Clark. We haven't done it in about 3 or 4 years! So this is a huge step forward for me. I'm really hoping and praying I can keep this up and do more!
Just thought I'd share my "yay me!" moment!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

First spin kit!

Yes I got one! I ordered it off Etsy from BHMAlpacas. I'm super excited! I'm hoping and praying that I will be able to do it and not totally screw it up! I really want to get into dyeing fibers and spinning them, but I wanted to make sure I could even spin before I got into the dyeing part.
I got a beautiful hook/needle case from Joy off of the group RAK on Ravelry.
Isn't it gorgeous?!! =D

The Dogwood Arts & Crafts Festival is this weekend and I'm super excited about that as well! I'm looking forward to finding some great jewelry and candles! I need some more tarts as my dog has eaten most of mine! =]

I go next Monday to my obgyn to have my follicle ultrasound done and see how things are growing. I keep having this whimsical wish that I'll go in and during the ultrasound the tech just casually turns to me and says (something along the lines of...) "Well it seems as though everything worked because you're pregnant. There's your baby." *Turns monitor around so I can see my little jelly bean I've wanted my whole life. Yea wishful thinking but I'm still praying for it. If you would like to send any prayers my way they would be much appreciated!

I'm off to go feed my face. Husssooonnns! YEA!

Friday, April 17, 2009

Socks & Margaritas

I have started and frogged my first pair of socks about 8 times now. Now I must admit defeat and do a gauge swatch. grumble... Hates em.
But things are good for now. I got my beautiful stitch markers from Hayley yesterday @ SnB! The one's I got aren't up there (I think I got the last set), but the rest are equally if not more beautiful along with the jewelry n what not. I am very much going to be a future customer! =]
Tonight shall be a fun night I declare! Amanda and I have plans to veg at her house drinking margaritas (she's determined to make me try it on the rocks bleh) and sing karaoke. I'm sure I will have YouTube posts to share later ha. Along with the drinks and songs, we'll be pigging out on a bunch of junk good since her hubby's gone and we went shopping yesterday. Never send 2 girls to the store alone... especially when one just got off of a no sugar thing for 45 days. Yea.. needless to say we have plenty of stuff to snack on! lol
I finally found a shawl that I want to make, but it scares me as most lace-y type things do...
PhotobucketIt's gorgeous and I'm still undecided if I would even wear it or not. It can always be a gift but to whom? I'm still mulling the idea over.
I've begun to feel like I need to have more hobbies and releases. That was the main reason I started crocheting and knitting in the first place. Now that I'm into that I want to do more things. Photography, spinning, dyeing yarn, and making stitch markers/jewelry with polymer clay seem like the top choices I've been putting through my mind. I'm open to suggestions.
Off to finish my gauge swatch and actual work. C-yas!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


As the title implies, I've hit a big plateau in alot of things lately it seems...

1.) Knitting & Crocheting: humph... this one I think hurts the most. ha. It seems like no matter what project I start, I can't figure the pattern out, I don't get the right gauge or something along those lines go wrong. Blah... I can't find anything I'm happy with either! Patter, color, shape, size, all if it is just wrong wrong wrong!!! Very frustrating considering I'm trying to work more on Clark's afghan and a scarf for my niece. I'm hoping that when I go to SnB this week that that I'll get some inspiration from the ladies. They're so creative so I can't imagine doing anything they do. (waaay to complicated and difficult for novice me! ha) I suppose it's not that horrible... in a way. I can take a breather and just focus on a few things now instead of a million like I was. I have a fairly good stash going which leads me into the next spot...

2.) Money: Yea I'm sure you're thinking that everyone and anyone is hard up on money because of the economy and what not but seriously, if I had good eggs, I'd consider selling them. lol. Because of the tax return, I had been doing really well on being able to get bills paid about a week or 2 ahead of time or the day after I got the bill in the mail. I guess I had thought I paid my car insurnce since I had been paying it all on time, but nope didn't. Now I have 2 months to pay this month. And this $250/month hospital bill thing is killing me. As if the bill for the surgery that told me I couldn't have kids on my own basically wasn't enough, I now have to pay for more pills/shots/treatments/visits to my obgyn (leading into....)

3.) Fertility: Or lack there of I should say. This is officially my last month on Clomid. So basically that means that if I don't get preggers this month, then next month I go to the "official" fertility specialist and get started on the dreaded shots. I so don't wanna do that. I hate having to put all those chemicals and hormones in my body already.

4.) Work: I keep on screwing things up... period.

There are plenty more but dinner is in the oven (probablly burning the way my luck has been) and the dog is getting anxious to go outside. Off I go to my exciting life... w00t!!!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Am I ever gonna get there?

Considering that I don't work on Saturdays, Clark is at Lucasville, I got my entire apartment clean, and tomorrow is going to be Easter you'd think I would be in a good mood. Well you'd think wrong.
*Warning: TMI coming up*
I woke up to a very disapointing discovery that I started. I was super duper excited for a while b/c even with taking my hormones I hadn't started. I was hopeful and shouldn't have been. So yea... I'm not that happy.
Then while trying to clean every room I find multiple flip flops chewed up behind the couch thanks to devil dog. So not only did I have alot more cleaning then I had anticipated b/c of her, after I got everything clean she somehow managed to hide a piece of paper from me and tore it up all over my clean spotless living room carpet that I vacuumed for like an hour.
Since I started of course I've been having horrendous cramps so I took my pain med as I usually have to with most of my painful cycles. Which, in turn, has made me feel like I'm stoned. Can't feel my fingertips and feels like I'm not breathing and whatever's going on around me isn't really going on type of stoned. So with that being said, this blog may sound out of sorts. I'm not in the best state of mind right now.
So instead of sulking on the couch by myself watching TV I sulked on the couch watching TV while eating an awesome sausage, onion, and looots of cheese omelete.
Looks nasty like dog puke but hit the spot and made me feel better.
Then I FINALLY figured out the tiger stripes on Jaycee's scarf. I ripped it apart 3 times before getting it at least partially right.
This would be my first project using intarsia! I'm just proud that I even understood the directions let alone did them! I'm hoping and praying that it will work out. I want her to have it to show the girls she cheerleads with. So if anyone has any further tips please feel free to share. I'm not sure what kind of backing I'm going to put on it so that's open for discussion.
Oh and if it didn't bum me out enough about not being pregnant, I get on myspace and there's like 5 girls that I went to school with that are pregnant. And most of them are younger then me!
I firmly believe in not questioning God and his decisions for my life, but that in no way means that I can't be angry about it. What is it about me that's so bad that I should'nt produce offspring? Am I cursed? Do I have evil blood or something?
Right now, I'm doing BBT, cervical mucus readings, and charting my cycles along with taking prenatal vitamins, hormones, and Clomid. whew... I'm full of everything that should've gotten me pregnant by now but alas I am not. Part of me wants to just say forget it and let it happen whenever. But I can never keep that thought out of my mind that I want it now.
I've decided that since today was so horrible for me & I didn't go to Lucasville like I wanted, I'm going to spoil myself and go to Wal*Mart to get some new needles and "Breaking Dawn". I downloaded it and started to read it but can't not get the book ya kno?
Here's hoping that tomorrow is better.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

My Adventure in Firsts

I know I should've done this Thursday after I got home but I was just too tired and I had gotten the 3rd book in the Twlight Saga so I was a little distracted. he...

So let's get to it...

Thursday- Totally went to my first Stitch 'N' B*tch meeting!!! (I'm trying very hard to not curse anymore so go ahead and laugh at my lack of an I haha I do) It was awesome! The girls I met were so sweet and funny! They held back the good stories claiming they couldn't tell me on my first time (they didn't wanna scare me away) so that makes me wanna go back even more! lol

I felt sooo stupid just pulling out this orange crap that I had been knitting with no real purpose to it to be honest and here they are with their beautiful creations just knitting away. Most without even looking, literally, I noticed with a twinge of jealousy. All of them seemed to have a great friendship and it wasnt' all about knitting. Funny funny ladies hehe. Can't wait to go back.

So leaving there I had planned to go the grocery store (like I had planned for the like 4 days before that) and thought neh I'll go to Wal*Mart and get my first set of DPN's (they assured me not to be so scared lol), some sock yarn, and Eclipse. So, I went & the new makeover they did on Rt. 60's craft/yarn section sucks! They took away most of the knitting/crochet stuff and ALL of the fabric/sewing stuff pretty much. grrrumble grrrumble. So I look and find some "it'll do" yarn and what do ya know...absolutely no double pointed needles! hmph... I was a little peeved to say the least. Anyway, I get my book and go home in a huff planning on making a trip to the Ohio Wal*Mart of AC Moore some other day.

Friday- After work I go to Dayla's house (co-worker) to show her and her daughter how to burn cd's and put music on her mp3 player as they got a new computer. Hung out there for a while chit chatting ya kno mostly about work lol Leave there and make my first AC Moore trip! squeeee!!! I think I parked honestly like a 10 minute walk away from the door b/c I was so excited to get in and see what they had (never been there before). I make a bee like to the yarn section, practically knocking over all the little fake flower ladies on my way, and there it is... beckoning... the most beautiful selection of yarn I've ever seen. (Ok I'm sure there are some of you thinking pfft I've seen waaay better, keep in mind I've never been anywhere but Wal*Mart for yarn really). I had to restrain myself from doing the I want one of everything thing. So I find a set of double pointed needles and 2 skeins of my favorite color Peaches N Creme yarn (Sage) and a free pattern. It took ALOT of self control not to go to the massive bargain bin for the 1lb. bag of yarn that was only $5.99 but I'm trying to reserve my cash flow for Lucasville flea market in hopes of a pot bellied pig. hehe. Leaving there I went to an awesome Christian book store past Target and the Shoe Dept. They had some awesome books that I wanted to get, again self control. I leave there and go home. Content with the new additions to my stash and eating a Twix bar that was amazing considering I had eaten since about 12 and it was by then 8 or so.
I come home and talk to Clark for a while and then off I go looking for a good sock pattern that uses only 4 dpn's and is REALLY super easy (for beginners). Finish reading Eclipse and then go to bed.
Today I have to go to the grocery store and clean! But the weather is so so lovely that all I want to do is just take my dog to the park and feed some squirrels. Perhaps after the store and cleaning? Hopefully I'll have the energy.
I think I've written a novel but I just had to share my story of the past few days. I don't get out much so all of this was really awesome to me. lol. Off to another adventure in grocery shopping!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Lovely day

As the title suggests, today was a lovely day. Very lovely actually. I found out I got a 25 cent raise (woot!!) and had a decent day at work. Amanda brought in some knitting books so I immediately ganked the one she wasn't reading at the moment and started reading it most of the day as it was fairly slow. (woot again). Had a dr's appointment. Only real blah part of the day I guess. My dr. told me I'm doing extremely well w/my anxiety problems and that they strongly feel within the next few months, only with my approval, I will be off medication and be able to function normally. But I just feel like I'm not doing quite as well as they think I am. Maybe it's because they don't hear all the things going on in my head. Maybe it's because they only hear what I tell them even as honest as I am with both my dr. and therapist. This time in life I am praying that I am wrong!
I finished mom's scarf yesterday!!! Considering it was my first knitting project I'm very proud. Amanda taught me how to cast on, knit stitch, purl stitch, and basics on tension and function of needles, etc. I watched a video on how to bind off and did it by myself just by watching an instructional video which was quite a feat for me as I'm a very ok move my hands for me the way they should go kinda person lol.
Considering I've never worked with such a "textured" yarn let alone in knitting, I'm proud. LOL
I have begun a basic stockinette stitch project that I have yet to figure out. It's too thick and big to be a scarf... and as it is bright orange I'm hoping to change to black in some sort of pattern and make something for my niece as her school colors are orange and black. (I may have mentioned that in a previous blog? my memory is well non existent lol)
Oh, and I also found myself in the store many many times looking at yarns thinking "oooh I loove that oooh that's greatt!! but really I don't have a project to do with that so it'd be really dumb to buy it" not anymooooore! =] I've finally decided that you know what, darnit, I'm gonna get that beautiful yarn even if I have no idea what I can do with it! Because if I can't do anything with it then maybe I can gift it on RAK (ravelry group) and someone else can! Or maybe it will inspire me to start a project I would've otherwise said NO WAY to!!! Inspire me!! haha I am doing this however, within reason. That being said, I'm not going to buy every yarn I love at every store I go to. haha. Although I wish I had the money and space to do so.
That reminds me... there's a knitting/crochet/yarn store just down the road from me... I wonder when they close...? OFF I GO!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Beef jerky be darned!!

Agh... I swear I am a 22 year old girl (I still don't consider myself a grown up or woman ha) in an 88 year old's body! All I did was eat one little tiny piece of peppered beef jerky and BAAAAM! I'm awake with the wooorst heartburn. It feels like I swallowed nail polish remover and the acetone is just creeping it's way up my throat. ugh. And to top it off, I've got a massive headache. And finished New Moon just a while ago so now I don't have anything to read. Am I pitiful or what?
Today was Jaycee's birthday party. I was extremely pleased that she liked her present Clark & I got her (memory card for her phone). It amazes me how much her and Jaydon have grown. I guess it's because I was only 11 going on 12 when she was born. She's the age now that I was when she was born! ha... And Jaydon... my little baby boy. He's so big and funny! He's the chubbiest most adorable kid ever! Oh and my other nephew Isaiah.. he's just too cute for words! He's so vocal now which just cracks me up. I can't wait for him to start walking just to see the things he's gonna get into! I thank God everyday for blessing me with those children b/c I know it'd be alot harder for me (and Clark) considering we prolly arent going to have kids.
So I started to knit about mmm 2 weeks ago? I've got knit, purl, (stockinette) stitches down. I am absolutely terrified of double pointed needles though. I was about half tempted to buy some at Wal*Mart yesterday but decided on getting some more circulars instead since my dog chewed up the bamboo one's I had. (Told you she was the devil)
I'm working on a scarf thing for my niece Jaycee right now. My goal is to somehow incorporate tiger stripes into the orange that I'm doing now. (Her school mascot is the tiger and she loves em) I'm just doing basic stockinette stitch except I'm switching it around so you can see the reversed side every ten rows or so. It's more or less just practice but if I can make something of it great!
So if anyone is reading this that can give me some tips, please do! I'm at a loss what to do. I've been searching the internet like crazy and anything I read or watch just doesn't seem to make sense.
Well, I'm off to try to get some sleep. As if I'll be able to with some massive burning going on inside right now. Ha.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Wet n mushy day...

So since the moment I woke up it's felt like Friday. And as any of you sane people know... it's not. Work was the usual accept on of the dr's wasn't in today which made it alot slower. (That's a good thing) I pretty much got through 3/4 of Twilight. I'm still loving it, probablly even more now. ha.
I don't know what exactly inspired this but lately I've become very interested in spinning. I've done a little research and just don't know if I'm coordinated enough to do it. Not to mention that my insane devil dog gets into every skein of yarn I get! I love her like a child but I honestly don't know what I would do if she tore up a skein that I spun myself... aagh I don't even want to think about it! lol
I've found some pretty good sites that are very educational but they all seem so... stiff? rigid? I dunno it doesn't seem to be clicking in my head how I will do it. It's probablly just me because I'm more of a visual learner. So I'm sure it's just my own stupidity that's keeping me from fully understanding it. I really don't want to get involved with another project or hobby and not be able to finish it up. I'm still learning how to knit, and not that great at it I may add, and also still trying to get better with crochet. Oh, and I also just got my sewing machine working... most of the time anyway. I'm still hopeful that Clark will get me a new one for my birthday even though we really can't afford it.
I'm still hopeful though that somehow I'll manage to get better at both knitting and crocheting. I have alot of free time since I'm such a homebody so who knows...

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I should be cleaning

but I'm not! ha... go figure me not clean when I'm supposed to! =] Anywho, I don't know why I'm even posting anything. Nothing interesting has even happened. Not that nothing ever does to me so....
I'm still working on learning to knit. I haven't learned the purl stitch yet. Thank goodness b/c if I did I'm sure I'd screw it up. (yes Amanda, I'm doubting myself again haha) So far I've just made reeeeallly long garter stitch scarves lol. And it's frickin Spring! But at least I'm learning right? I used to think I couldnt ever learn how to crochet or knit so I'm just glad I'm broadening my horizons.
My Twilight book came today! *eeeeeks!* So I'm sure if I don't post anything for a day or two it's b/c I'm spending all my spare time reading. But who can blame me? I still can't believe I watched the movie first! I never ever do that! O well... I'm determined to read the whole series before seeing the next movie though!
So basically right now I really need to be...
  1. Cleaning the spare room.
  2. Dishes
  3. Organizing/cleaning out my craft supplies (hehe)
  4. Cleaning the porch off (altho it's really Clarks job)
  5. Putting clothes away
  6. Scrubbing the tub/shower/bathroom in general
  7. Being more organized
  8. Reading my book (going to as soon as I'm done w/this)
  9. Reading the Bible (I'm determined to read it cover to cover w/in this year. I've never read it before)

Organizing bills and papers.

So yea that's about it! Can we say procrastination?!?! Oh, not to mention I could be cooking dinner right now also. I did make a step towards cleaning the spare room though, I brought boxes home from work. Ha small step but none the less more then what I had yesterday right?! Oh, forgot one more thing, I should be working on Clark's afghan. Poor thing I started it in DECEMBER!!! It's my first real project and I made sure to buy all the yarn and supplies for it and now ooops I've gotten distracted by all the other pretty fibers I have just staring at me from the dining room. Well, I suppose I'm going to quit stlaling and go do something well productive (ew its so bleh even typing it!). Dishes? Clothes? Crochet? Knit? *Sigh* The life I live!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Just call me Lemming

So I've always had this thing where I swear I'm not going to watch a movie that was from a book until I've read the book... ya kno I like to compare what they add in and leave out...all that jazz. So when Twilight came out and all these people were making a big hooplah about how wonderful it was I swore I wouldn't watch it until I read the complete series. Well, I caved this Saturday and thank God I did! It's everything everyone says and more! I am now a Twilight fanatic and in love with Edward Cullen! (I ordered the first book about 5 minutes after I finished watching the movie.)
Anyhow, I finally got something to organize my yarn and other things. It's still a work in progress but not to bad if I say so myself.
I keep all my yarn in this mesh organizer thing. Only $3! I'm going to get another one b/c this poor thing is sooo weighed down! Haha.
And as you can see I keep all of my odds and ends, hooks, needles and etc this plastic drawer organizer. (Also only $3!) But now my only problem is how to organize this...
Yea...that's the result of my dog CoCo and her hay day in my yarn stash... any tips much appreciated!
Well, off to finish watching Secret Life of an American Teenager finale and shower!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Before the day begins...

Quick post before I start my day! I'm taking Miss CoCo to the vet worries she's just getting groomed. I got little pink bows about 2 weeks ago for them to put in her long wavy ear hair! =] I will most definitley post pics later of that!
My day is pretty much just going to consist of taking her to the vet, to work till 3, back to the vet to pick her up, them home or back to work depending on if I get back in time before we close work. Grocery store later... grumble grumble.
Let's see recap for the past few days or so... yesterday we had dinner over at the in laws. I can honestly say that I am truly blessed to have great in laws. April is such a strong Christian mother who is a great example for me to follow. Big Clark is pretty much what little Clark will be when he's older lol. He acts just like his dad and more and more of him comes out every day. Which isn't a bad thing cuz his dad's a great man. He's a good provider and a wonderful grandfather. We may not always agree (haha) but over all they are amazing people that I am grateful to have in my life.
Clark got me some great yarns this past weekend at the fleamarket. There's not a whole lot there (about 1/2 a skein on each yarn) but it's more then what I had before and I'm thankful I have a "husband" who thinks of me. I figure it's enough to make some flowers or edging on something.
I'm working on quite a few things right now. A ami monkey, stiiiilll on Clark's afghan (poor guy), preemie blanket (may turn it into a snuggie thingy), and preemie hat. I started out being one of those people who couldn't stand to do more then one project at a time, slowly went to having to have more then one, now it seems like I start a new one every night! Oh well, all is fair in crochet and war right?! lol
Well, I'm off to take her to get purdied up. I hope the medicine they gave me works for her car sickness as well this time as it did Saturday when we went to Mom's house. Wish me luck!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Spring, struggling, & savouring.


Well the weather has been absolutely gorgeous! Even today, it's not particularly sunny but its cool and breezy out. I love it! As much as I adore the snow and winter, Spring is my absolute favorite! I adore the new life in all the animals, and flowers. Color seems to always be better in the spring and everything seems to be just a little bit more cheery!

I had a great day yesterday with my best friend and family. Heather & I went to the mall where of course I spent more then I wanted to (as usual) but got some much needed stuff. Then we ate chinese. =] Enough said there! ha... Then after devouring a plate of carbs and msg, we went and walked it off in the park. Seeing all the puppies and dogs out made me feel like a bad mommy to my baby girl at home because I haven't taken her to the park yet. She gets sooo car sick so if I take her anywhere I spend most of the time when we get there cleaning her up. And she's so wore out from puking and just feeling bad that she just lays there sleeping and getting rest.

After a fun daytime with Heather I actually got to spend time with Clark and my parents. We went to the car show at the civic center which was more boring and more fun then I thought. Lol. More boring because I know nothing about cars but more fun because I saw more interesting things then I had thought I would. We all walked around together talking and staring at shiny things (my fave! lol) and we each picked out which one we would take home if we could. I, of course, chose a beautiful blue 64 mustang.


Overall, a good day.


I've found myself lately struggling with my relationship with God. Not that I don't have faith, because I do. More so now then ever. Just that I don't quite know how to come the person that I know I am supposed to be. I think I have a good relationship with the Lord but I know it's nowhere where it's supposed to be. I'm not doing the things I should. It seems like I just don't quite know how to stay on the right track of things. I recently watched "Fireproof"
which I recommend to anyone and everyone no matter what walk of life you're in. It's got something for everyone. And of course it made me think. As most of those kinds of movies do. I just wish I could be the person I know that I'm supposed to be without struggle. Is it even possible? I feel like once I get on the right track, something pulls me back into my old bad ways. I know that I have it in me to be who I'm supposed to, I just continue to struggle with whether or not I have the strength to be that person.
I also have found myself struggling with my anxiety. It was going good but now it seems to be in a stand still. I feel the need to control everything. I can go places and do things that I couldn't before (thats the getting better part) but I have to drive, I have to be the one to choose to go to that place, I have to be the one saying when and where. (that's the stand still part) It seems like I can't give up any control of my life to anything anymore...
Clark and I couldn't be better right now though. He has given me so much happiness and I thank God for every moment we have together. He has truly been my best friend and I just can't imagine life without him right now or ever for that matter. He's been so sweet and even if we do argue it doesn't seem to be that big of a deal anymore. I'm so grateful to have him as well as everyone else that I have, in my life. They truly keep me going...
Well, this is an odd way to end this kind of blog but its 9 something and I need to play with CoCo and go to bed...more later kids.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

sick of being tired, tired of being sick

u would think being sick for 3 days straight would encourage me to crochet and get some projects done while laying around doing absolutely nothing... nope.
i cant frickin move. agh. i hate being sick as most ppl do ha. i swear i have the worst immune system known to man. anytime anything is going around i get it but like 10x's worse.
clarks sick too so that makes it suck even more. neither of us have someone to baby each other hah.
its times like this that makes me wish i had a cute cuddley little puppy that was a good dog that would lay with me and comfort me...but no i have satan...
she wont leave me the heck alone! agh. i just want to lay in the hot shower and not move for like 3 weeks. blah.
anyways, im done whining... =]

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

They might say wow that sucked, but at least they'll say wow.

i feel like crap. i went to the dr. yesterday b/c ive been having horrible pains on my left side down by my ovaries... the only one that actually works. they concluded i probablly have cysts again. yay. i knew my right ovary was shot to hell but i figured eh i got one good one. thats one more then alot of ppl right? guess i spoke too soon.
not only that but i also managed to get that cold my niece and nephew got. its very close to strep but no its just a cold with all the signs and symptoms of strep so needless to say talking, eating, drinking are not my fave things right now.
i thought i had a silver lining in those dark clouds of life as of lately... the meds they gave me for my stomach pain! yaaay for pills that take pain away! (im not a pain killer addict by any means trust me but w/this pain i would'be shot myself up w/morphine if need be ha) so i take one today and it works... very well... no stomach pain at all. but i feel like im going to throw up everywhere...
when it rains it poors...

Friday, February 20, 2009

This is my first gentle.

Well hello blog world! haaah nice to be up to date on things. :-)
Anyways, I mainly created this blog so I could write about my crochet projects and patterns....such n such n wut have u. But I may use it for a few rants, raves, ups, downs, and so on.
I'm new to crocheting. I've only been doing it since Dec. 24th of 08. Yes I know the exact day because my co-worker/good friend of mine had to work on Christmas Eve and since it was going to be absolutely dead, she decided it would be a great time to teach me how to crochet. So, for about a week after that I did nothing but single lines of single crochets in the back post. Yea...
Then I bought a beginners kit by Boye and caught onto patterns and a few other things. My friend still is a huge help though because I'm not that great. Ha.
I decided my first project was going to be an afghan for my fiance Clark. I chose to make it out of about 70 or so granny squares from 3 different colors. So far so good on it. Of course, the squares are single crochet so they're not too hard for me.
I also found the great amazing amigurumi!!! YAAAAY! I absolutely adore anything ami! My friend Heather wanted a cute little cupcake so by golly I made her one! Well, its actually just a pink and white puff ball... =[. Yea like I said I'm not that great.
Anyways, feeling safe in my single crochet world, I just kept making my granny squares content with the single project I had going.
After discovering the glorious world of (again through my co-worker and friend Amanda), I found many many patterns that I immediately loved and decided I was going to do.
One of which was a beanie/toboggan/cap. I originally planned to make it for myself because I don't have a winter hat. And I had an abundance of white yarn as I ordered the wrong color online. So off I went!
To my suprise I was doing great ( I thought ) with the double crochet and half double crochet stitches it required.
Then came the end. I didn't like the end of the pattern so I thought okay I will make my own edging great! I'm gonna do this I'm gonna pretty much go out on my own in this crochet world! So.... I did! And that turned out great! But when I finished the hat, very much to my dismey, I noticed that it was not nearly long enough to even touch my ears and was more child size then anything. Therefore, it became my nephew Isaiah's hat.
Now I'm discouraged, disapointed, and actually fairly embarassed. I thought I could do this! Now I don't know if I should venture outside of my single crochet bubble....