Tick tock tick tock

Sooo I turned 23 Sunday! It was the usual birthday of me being all sad b/c it's another year gone by that I haven't had a baby and my birthdays always seem to suck. I made out pretty good tho. I got an 8 ft (7ft maybe?) ALL pink fishing pole and flip bell reel from Clark. I loooove it! Now I can go riverfishing! Mom & Dad made me a nice dinner, breakfast, got me a pretty card, and a nice picture frame. Clark's mom & dad got me an awesome Longaberger recipe card basket, and a pretty picture frame that you can put lots of pictures in. Isaiah (my sweet monkey) got me a green apple scented oil scent dispenser thing (with the reeds, dunno wut they're called), and a shirt. I got lots of cards at work and Clark also bought me a t-shirt from Rav. Which I just got in today so I'm super excited to wear it tonight to SnB. If I go. I have full intentions of going but with the way my mood has been today blah I dunno... I don't wanna be a Debbie Downer ya kno?
I'm just in my own self pity mood. I took a test and got a BFN. I took it a few days too early so I'm still somewhat hopeful but still. I'm reading into IUI and all these different injectables since this will be my last month on Clomid and it's just so unbelievable to think I have to have that kind of assistance to do what billions of women have been doing for how many thousands of years on their own? And of course I'm lucky and get messed up. I feel broken. Can't they just fix me? Preferablly a quick fix?
The only thing I've really ever wanted out of life is to be a mother. And to have that one thing taken away (possibly, I'm a pessimist) sucks...
Told you I was bein Debbie...
I'm gonna test again. Don't know when but just incase. I'm sure you'll hear my rant about that when I get another BFN. I'm just glad I have a few wonderful people to catch me when I fall.

Grrrr....

So I was all amped up about my ultrasound appointment today hoping and praying that I would go and they would say the follicles are great and maybe I would get the miracle I'd been hoping for and I would be told that I was already pregnant. But no, the dr's office calls and had to reschedule me to tomorrow because of some emergency at the hospital that the technician had to attend to. Ok the obgyn I can understand having an emergency, yea ok I get that, but the ultrasound tech? What kind of ultrasound emergencies are there? I guess I'm just upset and being mean but I'm still really frustrated.
To top it off, I'm super sleepy today and my stomach is kiiiilling me where I'm ovulating. Which I'm not gonna complain about b/c its a good thing, but it still sucks.
Anyways, just wanted to rant for a while. I promise I will post something with a bit more substance next time.
Thanks.

They might say wow that sucked, but at least they'll say wow.

i feel like crap. i went to the dr. yesterday b/c ive been having horrible pains on my left side down by my ovaries... the only one that actually works. they concluded i probablly have cysts again. yay. i knew my right ovary was shot to hell but i figured eh i got one good one. thats one more then alot of ppl right? guess i spoke too soon.
not only that but i also managed to get that cold my niece and nephew got. its very close to strep but no its just a cold with all the signs and symptoms of strep so needless to say talking, eating, drinking are not my fave things right now.
i thought i had a silver lining in those dark clouds of life as of lately... the meds they gave me for my stomach pain! yaaay for pills that take pain away! (im not a pain killer addict by any means trust me but w/this pain i would'be shot myself up w/morphine if need be ha) so i take one today and it works... very well... no stomach pain at all. but i feel like im going to throw up everywhere...
blah
when it rains it poors...