Thursday, May 7, 2009

Tick tock tick tock

Sooo I turned 23 Sunday! It was the usual birthday of me being all sad b/c it's another year gone by that I haven't had a baby and my birthdays always seem to suck. I made out pretty good tho. I got an 8 ft (7ft maybe?) ALL pink fishing pole and flip bell reel from Clark. I loooove it! Now I can go riverfishing! Mom & Dad made me a nice dinner, breakfast, got me a pretty card, and a nice picture frame. Clark's mom & dad got me an awesome Longaberger recipe card basket, and a pretty picture frame that you can put lots of pictures in. Isaiah (my sweet monkey) got me a green apple scented oil scent dispenser thing (with the reeds, dunno wut they're called), and a shirt. I got lots of cards at work and Clark also bought me a t-shirt from Rav. Which I just got in today so I'm super excited to wear it tonight to SnB. If I go. I have full intentions of going but with the way my mood has been today blah I dunno... I don't wanna be a Debbie Downer ya kno?
I'm just in my own self pity mood. I took a test and got a BFN. I took it a few days too early so I'm still somewhat hopeful but still. I'm reading into IUI and all these different injectables since this will be my last month on Clomid and it's just so unbelievable to think I have to have that kind of assistance to do what billions of women have been doing for how many thousands of years on their own? And of course I'm lucky and get messed up. I feel broken. Can't they just fix me? Preferablly a quick fix?
The only thing I've really ever wanted out of life is to be a mother. And to have that one thing taken away (possibly, I'm a pessimist) sucks...
Told you I was bein Debbie...
I'm gonna test again. Don't know when but just incase. I'm sure you'll hear my rant about that when I get another BFN. I'm just glad I have a few wonderful people to catch me when I fall.

1 comment:

  1. hey I told you if I get a yes, and there are 2, one of them shall be yours. Provided you give me the same courtesy. :) I am so glad you got your shirt on thursday, I know you were worried. I couldn't find you a soldier per se, but I will find you something...but I can't wait to get back home and tell you about everything and begin planning our tour of West Virginia.